Brother John

Some may question the wisdom of booking an unknown as Master of Ceremonies at WV2, but there is a method in the madness. Not only will he work for lunch, he also isn't a big drinker. So, throwing in free ale was a deal clincher that won't cost more than a few quid.

Not only that, he's got a strong back and a pairs of hands, and little does he know, these will be put to good use before and after the festival. He is also insured to drive the van, freeing up four people to get straight on the lash.

Weighing the pros against the cons (mouthy, opinionated and a metal head), the choice was simple and now, we wonder why we didn't think of it before.